And so it begins . . .

After having a good time on vacation, I finally had my first day of school, the first one I've had in 11 years.  I didn't get really nervous until I pulled into the parking lot by the West building.  I don't handle new social situations well, especially when going in all by myself.  But I clung to the fact that this was school, not an ice cream social, and that my success didn't depend on interacting socially with other people.

Ramping up!

And so the vacation is looming ever closer.  The vacation that is making me miss the first couple of days of school.  I contacted my professors; I did my part.  I've also completed most of my assignments already.  Vacations are usually stressful for me, because I don't like leaving my dog behind, and it takes me a couple of days to shake that off.  But, I'm also going to stay with a person that doesn't like me; I kind of feel like I'm intruding on someone else's visit instead of being invited along.  And then right after I get back I have to move my ass straight to class.  I'm just nervous is all.  Everything has been pretty slow and relaxed and I'm not looking forward to the stress.  But, I've promised that I will not force myself to have a bad time just because I'm so convinced I'm going to have a bad time anyway.  I have committed to have fun whenever fun is available.  I will have a good time, goddammit.  Let's do this.

School shopping!

I was finally able to get my books for school today.  I also picked up a couple of other miscellaneous supplies, one of which was a backpack that I am absolutely in love with.  Cracked the books as soon as I got home, and finished the whole first chapter's assignments in my math book.  Going to finish the second chapter tomorrow, as well as get some of the first assignments done for American government.

Can't wait!

In the ditch . . .

Finally, after so very, very much ado, my tattoo is finished.  I went through total hell yesterday to get it done, but the much anticipated tattoo is done.  Pictures you say?  Well of course, I have those.

Well, whaddya know?

I've lived in this house for nearly 4 years now.  I've always been friendly with the people who live around me, and have had a few polite conversations with the people that live in front of and behind me.  I don't like meeting new people all that often, but meeting your neighbors at least once is necessary.  At least say "hi", even if you never speak again.

I've often talked to the lady who lives behind me;

I had a dream . . .

. . . and it wasn't the MLK kind.  Maybe it's a result of all my recent school-related stress, but I had a dream last night about the people with whom I went to high school.  I did not have many friends in school, and the ones I had were not of the "popular" type.  The dream dredged up a lot of old, bad feelings, and my inner thoughts keep trying to beat me down.

Mud on my shoes . . .

So, I do get pretty bitchy and cynical when I get pissed, especially when there's nowhere to direct the anger. A little wallowing is a good thing.  Better than corking it up.  Just noticed I start a lot of sentences with "so".  But that's okay, just another part of me.

Another reason I started writing this blog

Well fuck . . .

As I'm certain you'll see if you keep up with my writings, Life likes to punish me for being happy.  It's probably why I'm afraid of being happy, because every time something good happens (like it did yesterday), life has to swoop in and reprimand me, to remind me that I'm not supposed to be happy.  It will do anything to make sure that any joy I get out of life is short lived.  But I forgot that yesterday and, silly me, I was practically elated.  I should have known that was a mistake.

So I've been waiting for my tattoo for over a month now;

The Atta-Boy Reward -or- A Belated Birthday Gift

Today is an extra special treat day for me.  I've had this scheduled for the last month, but I feel like it's my reward for my excellent work yesterday.  I didn't know that events would fall the way they did, and the fact coincidence made it happen makes it even more special to me.  Today, after three long years of waiting and musing, I'm finally getting another tattoo.  One I'm very excited about.  I'm working with an excellent local artist I've never worked with before, but his portfolio was quite impressive and I can't wait for him to make me bleed!  Remember that part of my Five Year Plan is to finish my sleeve?  Well, today I take another step in bring those goals to light.  It's kind of a late birthday present, as I've been asking for money for my tattoo fund for both Christmas and birthday for several years now.  Nobody has obliged, but I've tucked away a little bit of money for it and after two months of waiting, I'm finally going today.

That's all, just a little quickie.  I'll post pictures when I get back.

I DID IT!!!

Well, it seems, for a change, that hard work actually paid off for me.  Well, I guess it wasn't really hard work.  More like medium work.  All the studying I did over the last couple of weeks must have really gotten my mind in a mathy mode because I nearly scored high enough to completely exempt Math 101!!!!  This is a HUGE thing for me.  I haven't had a math class since my 1996-97 school year.  Math and I are not friends, we're bitter enemies.  The first time I went to college,

The best laid plans of mice and men . . .

And this is why I abhor trying to plan anything.  I don't even like to plan things the day before.  Because usually, the plans fall through.  Which is exactly what happened.

I've been trying to get this school thing together since February.